


Regret

by Lillybe_Forest



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-08-23
Packaged: 2017-12-24 10:00:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lillybe_Forest/pseuds/Lillybe_Forest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce pushed Dick away after a night together. He didn’t expect it would turn out like this. BruDick</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regret

 

Regret was not a new feeling for Bruce Wayne. He felt it all of the time for various reasons. At times it faded slightly but sometimes it lingered like a disease. It made him who he was and it defined a part of The Batman that was very dark. There were too many regrets to list but Bruce knew every one of them intimately. Looking down at Dick he felt it deep in his soul.

Blue eyes blinked open and a bright smile graced Dick’s face. “Bruce,” he whispered, “good morning.” A hand reached out for him. When it wasn’t taken the fingers curled slightly and the hand shook. Needy. Dick was always needy for human contact.

Bruce turned, stepping away from the messy bed that Dick was laying on. He went over to his wardrobe pulling on his suit jacket.  Seeing Dick would be too painful right now.

“Bruce?” Dick’s voice trembled slightly. “Why won’t you look at me?”

That hurt Bruce’s heart. But he was doing it for Dick’s own good in the long run. He went over to the door, opening it.

“Was I… _bad_?” Dick asked before he left.

Bruce left, closing the door behind him.

Last night was a mistake. Giving into his body’s desires and taking Dick to his bed. It was never meant to happen.

A moment of weakness overtook all of his other regrets.

 

-

 

Down in the cave Bruce could forget about the day. He had not done well in an important business meeting, actually loosing concentration halfway through. It was one thing acting the idiot billionaire and another actually being one. When he had come back to the Manor he had found Dick waiting for him. Immediately Bruce headed down to the cave, ignoring anything that was said to him. When Dick had tried to stop him he pushed the man into the wall. He didn’t linger to see the betrayal in his son’s eyes.

Immersing himself in work helped. Alfred came down with dinner but did not stay. In fact, the butler didn’t say a word to him, just put the food down and left. There was no doubt in Bruce’s mind that Dick had spoken to the man. That bridge would have to be mended later.

Damian came down, putting on his Robin outfit and starting to stock up his utility belt, not saying a word. Not that his silence was unusual. Still, it was unnerving.

When Dick came down he went over to Bruce immediately.

“I’ve given you time,” Dick said, he sounded slightly desperate, “please say something to me.”

Bruce closed his eyes for a moment. “You’re dismissed.”

“What?”

Turning his seat around Bruce faced Dick, elbows resting on the armrests and fingers interlaced as he studied the man in front of him. Dick didn’t look good, his hair was a mess and his cheeks were bright red. He was emotionally drained. A wave of guilt descended into Bruce’s stomach.

“You are dismissed from your duties as Batman,” Bruce said sternly, “from now on I will be the sole Batman in Gotham.”

Dick stared at Bruce, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.

“No!” Damian stormed over, standing defiantly in front of him. “Grayson is my Batman.”

Bruce sighed. “If you no longer wish to be Robin then you may retire. I can always ask Tim to take the position again. It was not my idea to give you the title.”

Damian glared and was no doubt about to argue when Dick placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it. “Dami, can you give your father and I a moment?” he asked. Damian frowned but left them.

When alone Bruce went back to the computer.

“Just because you hate me now doesn’t mean you have to take it out on Damian,” Dick said. His voice was tired. So unlike Dick.

“I am not taking anything out on him,” Bruce said, “please leave.”

There was a small sob from behind him. It was unsettling. Dick was never this emotionally weak.

“What did I do wrong?” A pause as Dick took a shuddering breath. “Was I that bad, Bruce? You said you _loved_ me last night. What changed?”

“I was drunk.”

“Lowering your inhabitations doesn’t mean you make things up. I felt it, Bruce. There was something there.”

Bruce turned around and glared at Dick. “I thought you were Talia.”

Dick took a step back, staring at him for a few seconds before two tears fell from his eyes.

“Get out of my cave, Richard. You are no longer welcome here.”

Tears ran down Dick’s cheeks steadily. “I’m sorry,” he breathed out before leaving the cave. At the stairs Dick stumbled. That was wrong in so many ways. He was probably still sore from the previous night.

Bruce went back to the screens.

“You lied.”

Damian.

Of course the boy would spy on them even if Dick asked him to leave.

“Grayson knows you lied.”

That wasn’t the point though. Of course Dick knew he was lying. But he knew that he was trying to hurt him. To make him leave. That was just as effective as Dick believing him.

“Don’t use Mother as a cover in the future. It is insulting.”

 

-

 

A week later Bruce saw a flash on blue and black as he patrolled. He ignored it. Dick hadn’t been back to the Manor and that was a good sign. Damian had been awkward and decided not to join him for patrol, instead going with Batgirl. It was a sign of how angry his son was but he would get over it eventually.

Batman swung to the next rooftop. Nothing moved in the streets below.

“I had always defended you.”

Of course behind him was another matter. He didn’t move from his position.

“People have always said horrible things about you. That you’re cold and distant, that you had no room in your heart to care for anyone. I always told them that you did. That you were a good man, even though you had some issues. You saved me from the orphanage and gave me a new home. It never mattered to me how distant you were. Even through our problems I always stood up for you.” An intake of breath. “I never thought you would hurt me. Sure we argued but I always knew you were doing what you thought was right. That you were trying to protect me.”

Bruce closed his eyes. He could guess what was coming.

“What you did to me last week was inexcusable. I never thought you’d play with me like that. You know how I feel about you, you’d have to be blind not to. If you had just told me that you thought it was a mistake then I would have accepted it. If you asked me to forget about it than that would hurt but I would understand your need to draw a line. But ignoring me and then lying to my face. To dismiss me and tell me to leave. That was unfair and cruel. You hurt me, Bruce, in a way I didn’t think you would.”

There were footsteps and Bruce could feel Dick right behind him.

“I know you aren’t good at words and that you can be socially awkward but I expected better from you. You let me down and I can’t forgive you for what you did.”

A hand touched his back softly.

“I’m going to leave Gotham again. I don’t plan to come back.”

The hand left.

“No matter what I’ll always love you.”

Then Dick was gone.

 

-

 

“ _B, there’s been an accident. It’s Nightwing_.”

Bruce’s mind shut down.

Staring at the body of Dick Grayson all he could feel was regret.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he held onto a cold hand. “I’m so sorry, Dick.”

The man hadn’t managed to leave Gotham.

“I didn’t mean it.”

For the second time Joker had taken someone from him.

“Please forgive me, Dick.”

One shot to the heart was all it took.

“I never meant to hurt you.”

A moment where Dick was weak.

“I wanted to protect you.”

Distracted.

“You deserved better.”

In pain.

“So much better.”

Bruce stroked black hair away from Dick’s whitening face.

“I love you.”

The last time he touched Dick was in violence. The last time he had seen Dick he was crying. The last time he had heard Dick he was distraught.

“You could have the world if you wanted it.”

Watching the pale figure he wished that he could do it over. That Dick would open his eyes and tell him good morning again. Reach out for human contact and smile as bright as the sun. He would do it so differently.

“I should have given you everything.”

He had never regretted something more than pushing Dick away.

“You were my light, Dick.”

Now all he had was darkness and regret.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Began writing this at about 1am, apparently when I have writers block and am tired all I can do is angst. Please tell me what you think.


End file.
